


The Fragility of a Girl's Heart

by andrearitsu



Series: BanG Dream! University AU (Working Title) [7]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Misunderstandings, Self-Esteem Issues, Sequel, Shakespeare Quotations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 02:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17336831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrearitsu/pseuds/andrearitsu
Summary: Kaoru is worried she may have overstepped a boundary with Misaki. On top of it all, her classes ran late and she's been out of contact with her since last night.





	The Fragility of a Girl's Heart

Seta Kaoru was tired. It had been a long day of classes and she hadn’t gotten to the train station in Ueno until it was past seven. A few girls from her university had asked for her to join them at a club over in Nichoume but she just couldn’t handle that tonight, so she decided to head back to the apartment instead.

Truth to be told, she was worried about her roommate, Okusawa Misaki. When she woke up this morning she had to leave her all alone, curled up in bed. Seeing the poor girl looking so fragile and weak had made Kaoru’s heart sink and she questioned if maybe she had made a mistake in trying to console her the night before.

She considered it part of her creed to always do everything in her power to make a girl feel better, sadly her methods were somewhat limiting when it came to mending a broken heart. Using their mutual loneliness as an excuse, she had made love to Misaki the same way she would any other kitten who showed an eagerness to follow her back home.

Kaoru felt sick over her actions. She couldn’t help but shake the feeling that she had taken advantage of Misaki’s emotional state for her own selfish need to feel purposeful. She had known Misaki for two years, treating her no different some groupie was inexcusable. It was the same way she had hurt the person most special to her in the past and yet she repeated the error.

She had frantically been checking her phone over and over in case there’d be a message on there from her roommate, but nothing so far. Hopefully that meant her worries were exaggerated and that Misaki was fine and had simply been attending school as usual. Pocketing her phone, Kaoru stepped onto the train and began looking for an empty seat.

“Oh, Kaoru-senpai!” a soft voice reached her from nearby..

“Ah, Ako-chan. You needn’t address me like that, I’ve graduated after all.”

Kaoru sat down next to Udagawa Ako who was dressed in Haneoka’s second year uniform. The two had become friends during Kaoru’s last year of high school. Ako’s eagerness and curiosity had made her quick to adapt to Kaoru’s mannerisms in an attempt to be, in her words, just as cool as the Lady Prince of Haneoka’s Drama Club.

“How’s Tomoe-kun?” asked Kaoru, “Has she decided on what school to apply for?”

“Sis is as indecisive as ever, but I’m sure it’ll work out. I think the entire band is worried about splitting up for the first time, however.”

“I recall Aoba-san telling me that the five of them had been together since kindergarten or something.”

“Yeah, it’s a little rough on them.”

“What about you then, any recent conquests?”

“Ehehe~” a glimt in Ako’s eye shone up, “Worry not, Kaoru-senpai, I’ve made sure to fulfill my royal duties as the Princess of Darkness in your stead. In fact, I’m just returning from a get together with some lovelies in their first year.”

“Hmm… I’m glad to hear it.” Kaoru smiled, before remembering something important. “Ako-chan?”

“Yes, senpai?”

“How are things between you and Shirokane-san?”

“With Rin-rin? Just fine I suppose, I don’t get to see her as much now that she graduated. But she’s said she doesn’t mind me flirting with my lovelies as long as I don’t cross a line that we’ve both agreed upon.”

“Good, make sure you don’t.”

“Hm? Of course I won’t… Kaoru-senpai, is there something on your mind?”

“I… No, it’s probably nothing.”

“If you say so, senpai. But if I’m being honest, you seem a bit out of it today.”

“You see right through me, Ako-chan.” Kaoru chuckled lightly, “To be honest, I think I might have done something terrible to a person dear to me.”

“That doesn’t sound like you. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Remember what I told you about a kitten’s needs?”

“Let’s see…” Ako took a second to think, “Every girl has her own needs and it’s my duty to satisfy them as best I can. Assuming every girl can be satisfied the same way is dangerous and can result in doing a lot of harm instead of good. Was that it?”

“Word for word.”

“Kaoru-senpai, what did you do?”

“I’m not sure. I wanted to make her happy, to let her forget her worries and focus on nothing but pleasure for at least one night. At the time, I was sure I was doing the right thing but now… Now I worry I mistreated her by thinking I could give her what she needed.”

“But you don’t know that for sure, do you?” Ako asked, “You’ve not asked her how she felt about it yet, right?”

“True, I’ve not yet heard from her.”

“Then I think you worrying about it just shows how much you care about this person. You’re worried about something that might not be a problem.”

“Ako-chan, do you really think so?”

“It’s like the great bard wrote;  _ we call a nettle but a nettle and the faults of fools but folly. _ ”

“A quote from Coriolanus. How fitting. I too am returning home to a status quo that might have changed in my absence, unsure of what to make of it. You make me proud, Ako-chan.”

“Yay, I got praised by Kaoru-senpai!”

“Indeed, but please, do keep your voice down on the train.”

“Ehe, sorry.”

The two girls parted ways shortly thereafter when Kaoru’s stop arrived, leaving her with a short but tedious walk uphill to reach the student apartment complex. She waved goodbye to Ako as the doors shut and headed down the trodden path.

The sun has started setting as she reached the dorm. She took a deep breath and opened the door to her and Misaki’s apartment, hoping that it was unlocked because Misaki had come back home rather than because she never left.

“Misaki-kun?” Kaoru closed the door and hung up her jacket, no response, “Misaki-kun, are you here?”

Kaoru got out of her shoes and made her way into the apartment, gazing into the living room before entering their bedroom. She instantly noticed the girl curled up and sleeping. But not in her own bed, instead she was in Kaoru’s bed across the room, clutching one of her pillows.

Her heart sank once more as she approached her roommate, sitting down on the side of her bed and taking a deep breath. She still couldn’t shake the worry that she might have done something terrible last night, but if that was the case she had to own up to it here and now.

“Misaki-kun?”

The girl moved slightly upon hearing her name, unfurling herself and reaching for the source of the voice. Kaoru took her hand, gently, before stroking her hair.

“Misaki-kun, wake up.”

“Kao… ru… san” Misaki slowly opened her eyes, “You’re back.”

“Yeah, sorry that it took so long… Class ran late.”

“That’s okay.” she sat up, realizing where she was, “Ah, I… II- can explain why I’m in your bed instead of mine.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I came home and I… I… Really? I don’t?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind you sleeping here.” Kaoru was about to stand back up when she suddenly felt Misaki grab hold of her arm, “Misaki-kun?”

“Kaoru-san, ehm… Could you stay?”

“Is something the matter?”

“Just stay, please.”

“Okay.” Kaoru sat back down, “I won’t go anywhere.”

“Could you…” Misaki shifted her eyes, “Well, ehm, could you…”

“Go on, you can ask anything of me.”

“Could you lay down and hold me for a while? Like you did last night.”

“Ah…” Kaoru looked unsure of the request, “Are you sure you want me to?”

“Why not?” Misaki’s eyes shimmered in the setting sun, “Did you regret it?”

“No, not exactly, but-”

“Am I not good enough?”

“You are, but I don’t know if-”

“Are you…” a tear rolled down Misaki’s cheek, “Are you going to leave me too?”

In that moment Kaoru realized that her worries were of the wrong kind. She quickly embraced the shorter girl and held her close. Misaki wiped some of her tears on Kaoru’s shoulder as the two laid down together, just sharing each other’s warmth.

“I’m not leaving you, Misaki-kun.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you, Kaoru-san.”

Misaki held Kaoru closer, nuzzling up to her. Kaoru had never seen her this way before, she couldn’t help but find her cute. She ran her hand over Misaki’s back, feeling how sweaty the girl had become while lying in bed in her uniform. Kaoru decided not to comment on it, instead just holding her close, just like she had requested. 

“I never truly understood how comforting it could be to be one of your… Ehm, kittens.” said Misaki, “I feel I misjudged you, for a long time. I’m sorry about that.”

“No need to apologize.”

“I’ve been scared. That one by one you’ll all start leaving me and I’ll go back to being the way I was before I met everyone. All alone.”

“I assure you, that’s not happening. I won’t let it.”

“Thank you, Kaoru-san.” Misaki burrowed her face into the older girl’s bosom, “I still love her… I love her and I miss her so much.”

“Kanon-chan?”

Misaki nodded and Kaoru ran her fingers through the younger girl’s hair. A worry still lingered in her mind however, one that she wasn’t sure how to bring up without the risk of Misaki’s feelings being hurt further. She sighed and decided she couldn’t afford not bringing it up.

“Misaki-kun, don’t hate me for saying this.”

“What is it?”

“I can not be a replacement for Kanon-chan.”

“I know you can’t. I don’t want you to be a replacement for her. I just…” Misaki took a deep breath and clung tighter to her roommate, “I just want to feel close to someone right now.”

“If that’s what you need from me, I’m more than happy to provide, Misaki-kun.”

The two girls spent a moment in silence, nothing but their shared body heat communicating between them. After feeling calmer, Misaki moved away slightly from Kaoru’s body to look her in the eyes. Misaki knew Kaoru was hurting too, just like her. She could see it in her clear red eyes not having the same sparkle it once used to.

“Kaoru-san?”

“What is it, Misaki-kun?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Taking the initiative, are we?” Kaoru chuckled lightly, “Go ahead.”

Misaki brushed Kaoru’s fringe to the side to get a better look at at her. She had still not gotten used to her having cut her hair short, though it did suit her. Their lips met as Kaoru allowed herself to be moved beneath the younger girl. Laying on top of her, Misaki softly kissed her roommate. The kiss didn’t last more than a few seconds, but Kaoru could tell Misaki put all her passion into it.

“Ah.” Misaki suddenly remembered something, “I have something for you.”

“What would that be?”

“An invitation from Kokoro-san. It’s for…”

“Kanon-chan’s birthday.”

“Mm.” She gave a small nod in response.

“Will you be going?”

“I promised I would.”

“Ever so selfless… Perhaps I should have made you my pupil instead.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing of importance, my sweet little kitten.”

“I still cringe at that nickname, you know.”

“And yet here you are, resting on top of me just like a cat would.”

Misaki gave Kaoru a slight jab in the side before rolling over to lay beside her. The two of them clasped their hands together and looked to the ceiling in silence. Kaoru’s bed was slightly larger than Misaki’s. It wasn’t a double bed, but it was very much a bed for two, giving them plenty of space to spread out.

“I contacted one of the black suits today.” Misaki broke the silence.

“One of Kokoro’s helpers?”

“Yeah. I decided I want to change myself in some way and thought they could help me.”

“Change, huh? In what way?”

“I want to be someone people can rely on, someone who can come to a person’s aid.”

“Aren’t you already like that, Misaki-kun?”

“Not enough… If I was, then…”

“I see.”

“I wish I could be as outgoing as you, Kaoru-san.”

“Like me?”

“I can’t even stand on stage as myself, instead I’m just hiding away behind a mask.”

“There’s nothing wrong with hiding behind a mask.”

“But-”

“What makes you think I’m not wearing one whenever I go up on stage?”

“I’ve never seen you wea-” Misaki suddenly realized the misunderstanding, Kaoru was talking metaphorically. “Well, you’re amazing and everyone loves you.”

“Exactly, which means I can’t let people down by showing any flawed part of myself, no matter how small. I too am hiding who I am, just for different reasons.”

“Kaoru-san… I guess we’re both just fragile and broken deep down, huh?”

“We are fragile, yes…” Kaoru smiled, “But you’re not broken, Misaki-kun. This pain inside you, inside me. Your uncertainty and fears. All of it is but fleeting. It will pass and you will be whole once more.”

“Wow, that was the first time I heard you use  _ fleeting _ accurately in a sentence.”

“Fufu, perhaps that too, is fleeting…”

“Okay, never mind.” Misaki sat up, “I’m reeking of sweat, I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Want me to join you,  _ princess _ ?”

“Eeh!?” Misaki blushed up, “I-I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet.”

“Oh, what’s so different about that from what we-”

“It just is!” she walked up to the door before turning around, “Hey, Kaoru-san?”

“Yes, Misaki-kun?”

“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually a scrapped text that I decided to come back to and fix up. I struggled a lot with how to frame this chapter as I wanted Kaoru to be genuinely worried she might have fucked up by sleeping with Misaki in her current emotional state but I also didn't want to condemn her as the narrator for it since she didn't actually do anything wrong, she just *think* she did. It was an interesting challenge and I hope it came across in the text. This should hopefully be the last fic taking place on this particular day.


End file.
